A confession (another one…)
Back in 2012, I watched Andrew Griffiths, Australia’s number #1 small business author, speak at the Key Person of Influence event in Sydney. For some weird reason, I felt like there was some sort of invisible force literally lifting me out of my chair. I am not joking nor I am exaggerating.
In the months that followed, I had direct access to Andrew and the pleasure of his mentorship (see me with Andrew). I had the support from my family, the desire, the knowledge and capability to reach my goal, however, despite having all the right conditions to succeed, I didn’t.
My goal was publishing in 2013 and failing to do so was heartbreaking. However, now I know, I was chasing an Unicorn.
Always failing forward
The upside of failing to write a book was realising my life/career has largely been influence by a set of unwritten rules which have been responsible for determining my direction and the decisions I made.
Most importantly, the process allowed me to explore the game I wanted to play. It made me question:
Am I playing the game or being played?
What game can I play to win?
It took me 60,000 plus words to realise I wasn’t writing a book, I was writing to clear my head, re-assess and define what was next.
Something else I’ve learned…
When things aren’t moving the way we wished, when we get stuck, when we feel frustrated, overwhelmed, etc… there is a good chance our actions, approach to life and work are not in alignment with our highest values.
Behind our wants, needs and desires, there is something more fundamental that is often, and mistakenly, ignored – our values. The “WHY” behind what we do.
When asked “what do you want to be known for, Eduardo?”, “what is your WHY, Eduardo?”. My answer included generic attributes and a description of my current occupation. A reply I had conditioned myself to say. Although, it wasn’t compelling. Not to a point people would feel moved by it. It lacked a big game.
Playing a bigger game makes others want to help you. When is the game we are born to play, people around you will make an effort to help you win it.
It may seem like answering the question above has something to do with fame, but it goes way beyond that. It has a lot more to do with figuring out what we are meant to do. It helps us determining the unique value each one of us brings to the world.
Failing to play our game decentralised our energy. As a consequence, we may jumped from one venture to the next. One project to the next. We get busy being busy.
I find most people are afraid of playing a bigger game. A game that really means something. And the mean reason is simply: it’s fear of failure. I once though it was fear of success, but there is no such a thing.
I was unconsciously scared of playing a bigger game. The game I am naturally coded to play. A game aligned with my highest values.
In reality it’s fear of failure that distracts us of from what we are born knowing.
Do you know what your big game is? What is the WHY in what you do? What game were you born to play?
I’ll leave you with a great quote from one of my favourite movies, Coach Carter, which was adapted from Marianne Williamson’s book “A Return to Love” and a few questions to ponder:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Hope you’ve been playing your game.